Get Unstuck with Us: Introducing the Unstuck on You Podcast
As a codependent, it’s easy to cheer on everyone else’s dreams. For me, it often would show up when I would see people around me starting their own businesses. I would root for them and offer support and ideas. I even felt like I was sitting in a place of wisdom because of my marketing expertise and pure interest in one day taking a leap, too. Though on the inside, I hated myself. These people were designing their dreams and I didn’t have the first clue for what my own dream entailed.
Other people’s hopes and dreams feel so hopeful, so moving, so daring. How could I ever imagine those sorts of things for myself?
The truth is: codependents don’t. We are often so wrapped up in others that we never take the time to dream or imagine a future – especially one where we are at the helm. For years, I never allowed myself to have a dream. My dreams were essentially other people’s dreams. I was content to be part of them.
When I got divorced in 2019, I started taking some mini leaps toward dream making. I signed up for Katie Dalebout’s “Let a Podcast Out” program (https://letitouttt.com/). It was a comprehensive online course helping others learn how to successfully launch a podcast! I was motivated. I bought a podcast mic, I hired a graphic designer for a kick-ass logo and I interviewed my first guest! I was doing it…for about three months.
Until I wasn’t.
It all came to a standstill. I had my first significant financial blip as a single mom and I used that as a reason to stop moving one of my first dreams forward. I told myself that I had taken the podcast far enough and that’s all I’m really meant to do with it. Honest truth? My financial woes served as a nice disguise for what was really going on. I was scared:
What will people think of my podcast?
Am I any good at interviewing? Am I good at having meaningful conversations with others and skilled at asking the right questions?
Will people think I’m getting personal? Is codependency too personal of a topic?
What will my family and friends think? Will they abandon me for doing this work? Will they think I don’t love them?
Do I even have something of value to offer? Does my voice even matter in a sea of successful and educated professionals talking about this very subject?
And all of a sudden, my dream-making adventure turned into an excuse-making vortex. It took me three years to make my way back to what I started. Why? Because I’m in recovery. And when you’re in recovery, you sometimes fall in a low self worth pit of despair that you have to crawl out of because you’re learning new things about patterns and behaviors that no longer serve you. Sometimes old patterns aren’t super obvious to us and it takes a bit to course correct.
When the podcast was in a two-year coma, I did remain committed to doing the work. I wrote poetry, reparented my inner child, journaled my awarenesses and wrote “I am worthy” affirmations every morning, met with my therapist every Tuesday night and did kundalini yoga several times a week.
Recovery is a process. My commitment to my healing practices eventually led me back to that little dream I conceived in 2019. I started to realize that I just gotta do it! That feeling of “what could’ve been” with the podcast still remained. I heard the whispers often, “Take a small step.” And I did just that in May 2022, when I published the podcast episode I had recorded three years prior. I just did that one thing. Then the next step: I knew I had to share it, yet I was scared of judgment, rejection and abandonment (see above list). Then I shared it. And those little steps, turned into me taking more little steps. I began setting up podcast interviews with people who I admire and respect. Those conversations were so fun and lit me up in a way that doesn’t happen often. The more I said “yes,” the more delight and alignment showed up.
So here I am today – a few published podcasts, a new blog and website and it’s starting to become clearer that regardless of the outcome, I am beginning to trust myself and that makes me smile. Here’s what I am learning in this process:
There will always be roadblocks and obstacles when trying something new and taking a risk. Keep forging ahead.
A negative voice will be present at all times. It’s the brain’s way of keeping us safe. There is no logic or fact that the brain is working from in these moments. Best to give those thoughts a “job” and just do it anyway.
Ask for help! Chances are you know someone who is doing you’re doing or they know someone. Or you can watch a YouTube video. Either way, we have so many resources at our disposal. Just ask for help. People actually feel amazing when they are helping you, too!
Not everyone in your family or friends circle is going to be amped up about what you’re doing. They might not read or listen to what you create. They may be busy with other stuff or just not be interested. It doesn’t mean that they don’t think what you’re doing is awesome!
Connect within to find your path. Get quiet. Meditate. Pay attention when you’re looking for external validation. It’s a thing for me and I often go looking for “pats on the back.” Be proud of the work you create and trust the inner guidance you receive.
Your calling is YOUR calling. Be brave and do it anyway. What small step can you take?
Use your voice even when you’d rather want to stay safe. It’s still hard for me to tell people what I’m doing because I’m worried they will judge or criticize me.
I’m going to make mistakes, however, when they happen, I choose to see them as learning opportunities and own that this is part of the journey.
It’s been a slow start. It’s MY start. I’m proud of me. Cheers to taking one small step. They add up. I hope you take one today.
